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Toasts and Forms of Public Address for Those Who Wish to Say the Right Thing in the Right Way

By William Pittenger
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Table of Contents
  • TOASTS
  • BY
  • CONTENTS
  • INTRODUCTION
  • AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES—ANCIENT AND MODERN
  • THE VALUE OF A GOOD STORY AND HOW TO INTRODUCE IT.
  • THE PURPOSE OF AFTER-DINNER SPEAKING
  • SOME A B C DIRECTIONS FOR MAKING SPEECHES, TOASTS, AND RESPONSES
  • HOLIDAY SPEECHES
    • FOURTH OF JULY
      • SOME ITEMS THAT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE IN RESPONDING TO THESE TOASTS.
      • OUTLINE OF A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST "THE DAY WE CELEBRATE"
      • OUTLINE OF A SPREAD-EAGLE SPEECH IN A FOREIGN LAND
      • OUTLINE OF A RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "OUR COUNTRY"
      • SKETCH OF A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "OUR HONORED DEAD"
      • OUTLINE OF A SPEECH BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW, ON A DECORATION [MEMORIAL] DAY.
      • THOUGHTS FOR A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST "WASHINGTON: GREAT AS A SOLDIER, GREATER AS A STATESMAN, GREATEST AS A PURE PATRIOT"
      • HUMOROUS RESPONSE BY BENJAMIN F. BUTLER TO THE TOAST, "OUR FOREFATHERS"
      • APPROPRIATE TOASTS
      • SPEECH-THOUGHTS
      • SELECTED OUTLINE OP AN EFFECTIVE LITTLE CHRISTMAS SPEECH
      • THANKSGIVING
      • TOASTS
      • THOUGHTS FOR A THANKSGIVING SPEECH
    • SOME ITEMS THAT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE IN RESPONDING TO THESE TOASTS.
    • OUTLINE OF A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST "THE DAY WE CELEBRATE"
    • OUTLINE OF A SPREAD-EAGLE SPEECH IN A FOREIGN LAND
    • OUTLINE OF A RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "OUR COUNTRY"
    • SKETCH OF A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "OUR HONORED DEAD"
    • OUTLINE OF A SPEECH BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW, ON A DECORATION [MEMORIAL] DAY.
    • THOUGHTS FOR A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST "WASHINGTON: GREAT AS A SOLDIER, GREATER AS A STATESMAN, GREATEST AS A PURE PATRIOT"
    • HUMOROUS RESPONSE BY BENJAMIN F. BUTLER TO THE TOAST, "OUR FOREFATHERS"
    • APPROPRIATE TOASTS
    • SPEECH-THOUGHTS
    • SELECTED OUTLINE OP AN EFFECTIVE LITTLE CHRISTMAS SPEECH
    • THANKSGIVING
    • TOASTS
    • THOUGHTS FOR A THANKSGIVING SPEECH
  • PRESENTATION ADDRESSES
  • ADDRESSES OF WELCOME
    • ADDRESS OF WELCOME
      • ADDRESS IN RESPONSE
    • ADDRESS IN RESPONSE
  • WEDDING AND OTHER ANNIVERSARIES
    • SPEECH FOR A WOODEN WEDDING
      • BRIDEGROOM IN REPLY
    • BRIDEGROOM IN REPLY
  • TOASTS
    • SENTIMENTS SUGGESTED BY A TOAST
      • MISCELLANEOUS TOASTS
      • HUMOROUS TOASTS.
    • MISCELLANEOUS TOASTS
    • HUMOROUS TOASTS.
  • MISCELLANEOUS ADDRESSES
    • OUTLINE OF SPEECH BY GOVERNOR FORAKER AT THE DEDICATION OF OHIO'S MONUMENT TO THE ANDREWS RAIDERS, AT CHATTANOOGA
      • OUTLINE OF ADDRESS BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW AT DINNER ON THE 70TH BIRTHDAY OF JOHN JAY
      • OUTLINE OF ADDRESS BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW AT THE RECEPTION TO HENRY M. STANLEY BY THE LOTUS CLUB
      • SPEECHES AT A DINNER GIVEN TO THE RELIGIOUS PRESS
      • RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "THE NAVY: OUR COUNTRY'S BEST WALL OF DEFENSE"
      • RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "GENERAL JACKSON: A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH, BUT A DIAMOND"
      • RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "THE WORKING MAN: MAY HE LOVE HIS WORK AND HAVE PLENTY OF IT, WITH GOOD WAGES PROMPTLY PAID"
      • A NOMINATING SPEECH
      • SPEECH ACCEPTING A NOMINATION
      • SPEECH IN A POLITICAL CANVASS
      • SPEECH AFTER A POLITICAL VICTORY. SELECTED
      • SPEECH AFTER A POLITICAL DEFEAT. SELECTED
      • A CHAIRMAN'S OR PRESIDENT'S SPEECH
      • A GENERAL OUTLINE FOE ALL OCCASIONS
    • OUTLINE OF ADDRESS BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW AT DINNER ON THE 70TH BIRTHDAY OF JOHN JAY
    • OUTLINE OF ADDRESS BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW AT THE RECEPTION TO HENRY M. STANLEY BY THE LOTUS CLUB
    • SPEECHES AT A DINNER GIVEN TO THE RELIGIOUS PRESS
    • RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "THE NAVY: OUR COUNTRY'S BEST WALL OF DEFENSE"
    • RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "GENERAL JACKSON: A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH, BUT A DIAMOND"
    • RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "THE WORKING MAN: MAY HE LOVE HIS WORK AND HAVE PLENTY OF IT, WITH GOOD WAGES PROMPTLY PAID"
    • A NOMINATING SPEECH
    • SPEECH ACCEPTING A NOMINATION
    • SPEECH IN A POLITICAL CANVASS
    • SPEECH AFTER A POLITICAL VICTORY. SELECTED
    • SPEECH AFTER A POLITICAL DEFEAT. SELECTED
    • A CHAIRMAN'S OR PRESIDENT'S SPEECH
    • A GENERAL OUTLINE FOE ALL OCCASIONS
  • ILLUSTRATIVE AND HUMOROUS ANECDOTES
    • 1. INDEPENDENCE OF A MONOPOLY
      • 2. EXPLANATION
      • 3. RIDING A HOBBY
      • 4. HOBSON'S CHOICE
      • 5. WHEN TO BE SILENT
      • 6. PAYING FOR YOUR WHISTLE
      • 7. GOOSE-CHASE
      • 8. THE PERPLEXED SAGE
      • 9. QUICK THOUGHT
      • 12. INSIGNIFICANT THINGS
      • 14. MAKING AN EXCUSE; OR, JOHNNY PEEP
      • 15. STERN LOGIC
      • 16. MISTAKEN BREVITY
      • 17. CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME
      • 18. CHARITY; OR, A GOOD WORD FOR EVERY ONE—EVEN THE DEVIL.
      • 19. INGENIOUS REASON
      • 20. AMBIGUITY OF WORDS
      • 21. USELESS REGRET
      • 22. NO HAPPINESS IN WEALTH
      • 23. SHORT BUT POINTED
      • 24. REASONING IN A CIRCLE
      • 25. EXTREME ECONOMY
      • 26. SENSIBLE TO THE LAST
      • 27. FISHING FOR A COMPLIMENT
      • 28. BEYOND EXPRESSION
      • 29. THE TOAST OF THE EVENING
      • 30. BEE LINE
      • 31. VENTRILOQUISM
      • 32. A SLIGHT MISTAKE
      • 33. PRESENCE OF MIND
      • 34. JOKE ON A DUDE
      • 35. NEWSPAPER REPORTER
      • 36. HOW A WOMAN PROPOSED
      • 37. LUCKY ANSWER
      • 38. DOUBLE EDUCATION
      • 39. REMNANTS
      • 40. INDIRECT AND DIRECT
      • 41. AN UNMARRIED MAN'S WIFE
      • 42. A DILEMMA
      • 43. COURAGEOUS GIRL
      • 44. MORAL SUASION
      • 45. CUTE BOY
      • 46. PERPLEXED
      • 47. BEN FRANKLIN'S OYSTERS
      • 48. FAMILY AFFAIRS
      • 49. A BURGLAR'S EXPERIENCE
      • 50. HITTING A LAWYER
      • 51. CUTTING SHORT A PRAYER
      • 52. UNREMITTING KINDNESS
      • 53. AMUSING BLUNDER
      • 54. COMPLIMENT TO A LADY
      • 55. TOO SLIM
      • 56. A FAST-DAY TOAST
      • 57. THE SUN STANDING STILL
      • 58. NEUTRALIZING POISON
      • 59. GENERAL BUTLER AND THE SPOONS
      • 60. MAKING MOST OF ONE'S CAPITAL
      • 61. MEETING HALF-WAY
      • 62. UNFORTUNATE MISTAKE
      • 63. TAKEN AT HIS WORD
      • 64. BRAGGING VETERANS
      • 65. EXCHANGING MINDS
      • 66. BUYING A LAWYER
      • 67. WOULD NOT SAVE IT
      • 68. WIDOW OUTWITTED
      • 69. TOO KIND
      • 70. NOT FOOLED TWICE
      • 71. BITING SARCASM
      • 72. INCORRIGIBLE NEIGHBOR
      • 73. DISGUSTED OFFICER
      • 74. IRATE PRISONER
      • 75. TRUTHFUL PRISONER
      • 76. RULING PASSION
      • 77. BAD SPECULATION
      • 78. SATISFIED WITH HIS SITUATION
      • 79. A GOOD WORD FOR THE DEVIL
      • 80. MARRYING A WIDOW
      • 81. A GOOD SALE
      • 82. TRIUMPHS OF MEDICINE
      • 83. TIT FOR TAT
      • 84. SLEEPING ON TOP
      • 85. SAMBO AND THE LAWYER
      • 86. SIXTY-CENT NAP
      • 87. PREFERRED TO WALK
      • 88. HORACE GREELEY'S JOKE
      • 89. DOCTORS AND DEADHEADS
      • 90. BOOMING A TOWN
      • 91. ATHLETIC NURSE
      • 92. TOO PREMATURE
      • 93. A BEWILDERED IRISHMAN
      • 94. OBEYING ORDERS
      • 95. A SPEECH FROM THE REAR PLATFORM
      • 96. A WAY OUT OF IT
      • 97. THE EXTENT OF SCIENCE
      • 98. WHAT'S IN A NAME?
      • 99. STILL ROOM FOR RESEARCH
      • 100. HE WAS "'PISCOPAL"
      • 101. JOHNNY'S EXCUSE
    • 2. EXPLANATION
    • 3. RIDING A HOBBY
    • 4. HOBSON'S CHOICE
    • 5. WHEN TO BE SILENT
    • 6. PAYING FOR YOUR WHISTLE
    • 7. GOOSE-CHASE
    • 8. THE PERPLEXED SAGE
    • 9. QUICK THOUGHT
    • 12. INSIGNIFICANT THINGS
    • 14. MAKING AN EXCUSE; OR, JOHNNY PEEP
    • 15. STERN LOGIC
    • 16. MISTAKEN BREVITY
    • 17. CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME
    • 18. CHARITY; OR, A GOOD WORD FOR EVERY ONE—EVEN THE DEVIL.
    • 19. INGENIOUS REASON
    • 20. AMBIGUITY OF WORDS
    • 21. USELESS REGRET
    • 22. NO HAPPINESS IN WEALTH
    • 23. SHORT BUT POINTED
    • 24. REASONING IN A CIRCLE
    • 25. EXTREME ECONOMY
    • 26. SENSIBLE TO THE LAST
    • 27. FISHING FOR A COMPLIMENT
    • 28. BEYOND EXPRESSION
    • 29. THE TOAST OF THE EVENING
    • 30. BEE LINE
    • 31. VENTRILOQUISM
    • 32. A SLIGHT MISTAKE
    • 33. PRESENCE OF MIND
    • 34. JOKE ON A DUDE
    • 35. NEWSPAPER REPORTER
    • 36. HOW A WOMAN PROPOSED
    • 37. LUCKY ANSWER
    • 38. DOUBLE EDUCATION
    • 39. REMNANTS
    • 40. INDIRECT AND DIRECT
    • 41. AN UNMARRIED MAN'S WIFE
    • 42. A DILEMMA
    • 43. COURAGEOUS GIRL
    • 44. MORAL SUASION
    • 45. CUTE BOY
    • 46. PERPLEXED
    • 47. BEN FRANKLIN'S OYSTERS
    • 48. FAMILY AFFAIRS
    • 49. A BURGLAR'S EXPERIENCE
    • 50. HITTING A LAWYER
    • 51. CUTTING SHORT A PRAYER
    • 52. UNREMITTING KINDNESS
    • 53. AMUSING BLUNDER
    • 54. COMPLIMENT TO A LADY
    • 55. TOO SLIM
    • 56. A FAST-DAY TOAST
    • 57. THE SUN STANDING STILL
    • 58. NEUTRALIZING POISON
    • 59. GENERAL BUTLER AND THE SPOONS
    • 60. MAKING MOST OF ONE'S CAPITAL
    • 61. MEETING HALF-WAY
    • 62. UNFORTUNATE MISTAKE
    • 63. TAKEN AT HIS WORD
    • 64. BRAGGING VETERANS
    • 65. EXCHANGING MINDS
    • 66. BUYING A LAWYER
    • 67. WOULD NOT SAVE IT
    • 68. WIDOW OUTWITTED
    • 69. TOO KIND
    • 70. NOT FOOLED TWICE
    • 71. BITING SARCASM
    • 72. INCORRIGIBLE NEIGHBOR
    • 73. DISGUSTED OFFICER
    • 74. IRATE PRISONER
    • 75. TRUTHFUL PRISONER
    • 76. RULING PASSION
    • 77. BAD SPECULATION
    • 78. SATISFIED WITH HIS SITUATION
    • 79. A GOOD WORD FOR THE DEVIL
    • 80. MARRYING A WIDOW
    • 81. A GOOD SALE
    • 82. TRIUMPHS OF MEDICINE
    • 83. TIT FOR TAT
    • 84. SLEEPING ON TOP
    • 85. SAMBO AND THE LAWYER
    • 86. SIXTY-CENT NAP
    • 87. PREFERRED TO WALK
    • 88. HORACE GREELEY'S JOKE
    • 89. DOCTORS AND DEADHEADS
    • 90. BOOMING A TOWN
    • 91. ATHLETIC NURSE
    • 92. TOO PREMATURE
    • 93. A BEWILDERED IRISHMAN
    • 94. OBEYING ORDERS
    • 95. A SPEECH FROM THE REAR PLATFORM
    • 96. A WAY OUT OF IT
    • 97. THE EXTENT OF SCIENCE
    • 98. WHAT'S IN A NAME?
    • 99. STILL ROOM FOR RESEARCH
    • 100. HE WAS "'PISCOPAL"
    • 101. JOHNNY'S EXCUSE
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