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Shakespeare Jest-Books Reprints of the Early and Very Rare Jest-Books Supposed to Have Been Used by Shakespeare

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Table of Contents

Old English Jest-Book.
VOL. I.
Shakespeare Jest-Books;
- REPRINTS OF THE EARLY AND VERY RARE JEST-BOOKS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN USED BY SHAKESPEARE.
- A Hundred Mery Talys,
  - FROM THE ONLY KNOWN COPY.
- FROM THE ONLY KNOWN COPY.
II.
- Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres,
  - FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567.
  - BY
- FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567.
- BY
- W. CAREW HAZLITT,
  - OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.
- OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.
¶ A C. mery Talys.
The Table.
INTRODUCTION.
A C. MERY TALYS.
- ¶ Of hym that said there were but two commandementes. i.
- ¶ Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her husbande disguised in her rayment. ii.
- ¶ Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell. iii.
- ¶ Of the ryche man and his two sonnes. iv.
- ¶ Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment. v.
- ¶ Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute. vi.
- ¶ Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion. vii.
- ¶ Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept. viii.
- ¶ Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late. ix.
- ¶ Of the mylner with the golden thombe.[17] x.
- ¶ Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the frere. xi.
- ¶ Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum. xii.
- ¶ Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other the tayle. xiii.
- ¶ Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the fryday. xiv.
- ¶ Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde. xv.
- ¶ Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a shepe. xvi.
- ¶ Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde. xvii.
- ¶ Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male. xviii.
- ¶ Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage. xix.
- ¶ Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for hys soule. xx.
- ¶ Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere. xxi.
- ¶ Of the thre wyse men of Gotam. xxii.
- ¶ Of the graye frere that answered his penytente. xxiii.
- ¶ Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke. xxiv.
- ¶ Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon. xxv.
- ¶ Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her owne. xxvi.
- ¶ Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle. xxvii.
- ¶ Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere. xxviii.
- ¶ Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male. xxix.
- ¶ Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe. xxx.
- ¶ Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii. fysshys. xxxi.
- ¶ Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone. xxxii.
- ¶ Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman. xxxiii.
- ¶ Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare. xxxiv.
- ¶ Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten xxxv.
- ¶ Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer. xxxvi.
- ¶ Of the thre men that chose the woman. xxxvii.
- ¶ Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake. xxxviii.
- ¶ Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet typet. xxxix.
- ¶ Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii fesauntes. xl.
- ¶ Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter. xli.
- ¶ Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen. xlii.
- ¶ Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke sweetly. xliii.
- ¶ Of the maydes answere that was with chylde. xliv.
- ¶ Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster. xlv.
- ¶ Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape. xlvi.
- ¶ Of hym that solde ryght nought. xlvii.
- ¶ Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes. xlviii.
- ¶ Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money. xlix.
- ¶ Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man. l.
- ¶ Of the courtear and the carter. li.
- ¶ Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster. lii.
- ¶ Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria. liii.
- ¶ Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede. liv.
- ¶ Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis. lv.
- ¶ Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste. lvi.
- ¶ Of the man of lawes sonnes answer. lvii.
- ¶ Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge. lviii.
- ¶ Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see. lix.
- ¶ Of the man that had the dome wyfe. lx.
- ¶ Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe. lxi.
- ¶ Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste. lxii.
- ¶ Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght. lxiii.
- ¶ Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe. lxiv.
- ¶ Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me. lxv.
- ¶ Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw. lxvi.
- ¶ Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii. lxvii.
- ¶ Of the frere that stale the podynge.[114] lxviii.
- ¶ Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres. lxix.
- ¶ Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde. lxx.
- ¶ Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote. lxxi.
- ¶ Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote. lxxii.
- ¶ Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were. lxxiii.
- ¶ Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed. lxxiv.
- ¶ Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell.[119] lxxv.
- ¶ Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe. lxxvi.
- ¶ Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce. lxxvii.
- ¶ Of the parson that stale the mylners elys. lxxviii.
- ¶ Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God. lxxix.
- ¶ Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule. lxxx.
- ¶ Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul. lxxxi.
- ¶ Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn. lxxxii.
- ¶ Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny. lxxxiii.
- ¶ Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well. lxxxiv.
- ¶ Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope. lxxxv.
- ¶ Of the woman that stale the pot. lxxxvi.
- ¶ Of mayster Whyttynton dreme.[134] lxxxvii.
- ¶ Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus. lxxxviii.
- ¶ Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke. lxxxix.
- ¶ Of hym that brought a botell to a preste. xc.
- ¶ Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth. xci.
- ¶ Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday. xcii.
- ¶ Of the one broder that founde a purs. xciii.
- ¶ Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde. xciv.
- ¶ Of the northern man that was all harte. xcv.
- ¶ Of the burnynge of olde John. xcvi.
- ¶ Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde. xcvii.
- ¶ Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe. xcix.
- ¶ Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely. c.
ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
- A C. MERY TALYS.
¶ Tales, and quicke answers, very mery, and pleasant to rede.
Mery Tales, Wittie
- Questions
- and Quicke Answeres,
  - Very pleasant to be Readde.
- Very pleasant to be Readde.
The Table.
- TALES AND QUICKE ANSWERES.
- ¶ Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on foote. i.
- ¶ Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day. ii.
- ¶ Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes. iii.
- ¶ Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons. iiii.
- ¶ Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage. v.
- ¶ Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe. vi.
- ¶ Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge. vii.
- ¶ Of hym that felle into the fyre. viii.
- ¶ Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles. ix.
- ¶ Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth. x.
- ¶ Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose. xi.
- ¶ The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit. xii.
- ¶ Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete. xiii.
- ¶ Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed. xiiii.
- ¶ Of him that lost his purse in London. xv.
- ¶ Of the marchaunt that lost his bodgette betwene Ware and Lon[don]. xvi.
- ¶ Of him that was called cuckolde. xvii.
- ¶ Of the iolous man. xviii.
- ¶ Of the fatte woman that solde frute. xix.
- ¶ Of a poller that begyled a prest. xx.
- ¶ Of Papirius pretextatus. xxi.
- ¶ Of the corrupte man of lawe. xxii.
- ¶ Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman. xxiii.
- ¶ Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge. xxiiii.
- ¶ Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch. xxv.
- ¶ Of the astronomer that theues robbed. xxvi.
- ¶ Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster. xxvii.
- ¶ Of him that dreamed he fonde golde. xxviii.
- ¶ Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a myle of. xxix.
- ¶ Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe. xxx.
- ¶ Of the frier that brayde in his sermon. xxxi.
- ¶ The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban. xxxii.
- ¶ Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis. xxxiii.
- ¶ The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour. xxxiiii.
- ¶ Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant. xxxv.
- ¶ Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord. xxxvi.
- ¶ Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence. xxxvii.
- ¶ Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue. xxxviii.
- ¶ Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge. xxxix.
- ¶ Of the hermite of Padowe. xl.
- ¶ Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge. xli.
- ¶ Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse. xlii.
- ¶ Of the deceytfull scriuener. xliii.
- ¶ Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste. xliiii.
- ¶ Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea. xlv.
- ¶ Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe. xlvi.
- ¶ Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise. xlvii.
- ¶ Of the phisitian Eumonus. xlviii.
- ¶ Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe. xlix.
- ¶ Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an asse. l.
- ¶ Of the inholders[222] wyfe and her ii louers. li.
- ¶ Of hym that healed franticke men. lii.
- ¶ Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge. liii.
- ¶ Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man. liiii.
- ¶ Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme. lv.
- ¶ Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet. lvi.
- ¶ Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner. lvii.
- ¶ Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed. lviii.
- ¶ Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to sylle. lix.
- ¶ Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe. lx.
- ¶ The answere of Fabius to Liuius. lxi.
- ¶ The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan embassadors.[246] lxii.
- ¶ The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche armye. lxiii.
- ¶ The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the kynge. lxiiii.
- ¶ Of him that loued the marchants wyfe. lxv.
- ¶ Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile. lxvi.
- ¶ Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette. lxvii.
- ¶ Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction. lxviii.
- ¶ Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde. lxix.
- ¶ Of him that desired to be made a gentilman. lxx.
- ¶ Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe. lxxi.
- ¶ Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham.[258] lxxii.
- ¶ Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse. lxxiii.
- ¶ Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer. lxxiiii.
- ¶ Of hym that the olde roode fell on. lxxv.
- ¶ Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure. lxxvi.
- ¶ Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike. lxxvii.
- ¶ How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man. lxxix.
- ¶ Of the olde man, that quengered[267] the boy oute of the apletree with stones. lxxx.
- ¶ Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster. lxxxi.
- ¶ Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do. lxxxii.
- ¶ Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte.[270] lxxxiii.
- ¶ Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge. lxxxiiii.
- ¶ Of hym that had his goose stole. lxxxv.
- ¶ Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone. lxxxvi.
- ¶ Of Dantes answere to the iester. lxxxvii.
- ¶ Of hym that had sore eyes.[274] lxxxviii.
- ¶ Of the olde woman that had sore eyes. lxxxix.
- ¶ Of hym that had the custodi of a warde. xc.
- ¶ Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children. xci.
- ¶ Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer. xcii.
- ¶ Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles. xciii.
- ¶ Of the chesshire man called Eulyn. xciiii.
- ¶ Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori. xcv.
- ¶ Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of capons. xcvi.
- ¶ Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether. xcvii.
- ¶ Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes. xcviii.
- ¶ Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede. xcix.
- ¶ Of the fryer that confessed the woman.[287] c.
- ¶ Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer. ci.
- ¶ Of the same chaplen and one that spited him. cii.
- ¶ Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes. ciii.
- ¶ Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde. ciiii.
- ¶ Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men. cv.
- ¶ Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s.[295] cvi.
- ¶ Of Demosthenes and Phocion. cvii.
- ¶ Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte. cviii.
- ¶ Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne. cix.
- ¶ Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates. cx.
- ¶ Of Titus and the iester. cxi.
- ¶ Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete.[297] cxii.
- ¶ Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne. cxiii.
- ¶ Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed agaynst hym. cxiiii.
- ¶ Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie. cxv.
- ¶ Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man. cxvi.
- ¶ Of the vplandishe[303] priest, that preached of Charitie. cxvii.
- ¶ Another sayinge of the same preest. cxviii.
- ¶ Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis. cxix.
- ¶ Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell water. cxx.
- ¶ Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him selfe. cxxi.
- ¶ Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and his cardinals. cxxii.
- ¶ Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies. cxxiii.
- ¶ Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus. cxxiv.
- ¶ Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia. cxxv.
- ¶ Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus. cxxvi.
- ¶ Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man.[315] cxxvii.
- ¶ Of the Canon and his man. cxxviii
- ¶ Of the same Canon and his sayd man. cxxix.
- ¶ Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng. cxxx.
- ¶ Of the blynde man and his boye. cxxxi.
- ¶ Of him that sold two lodes of hey. cxxxii.
- ¶ How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe. cxxxiii.
- ¶ How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought. cxxxiiii.
- ¶ Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus. cxxxv.
- ¶ Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler. cxxxvi.
- ¶ Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher. cxxxvii.
- ¶ Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller.[339] cxxxviii.
- ¶ An other tale of the same frenche kyng.[340] cxxxix.
- ¶ What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng. cxl.
ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
- MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES.
- FOOTNOTES: