Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 5, 1917
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 5, 1917

By Various
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  • The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 153, Sept. 5, 1917, by Various, Edited by Owen Seamen
  • PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
    • Vol. 153.
    • September 5, 1917.
    • CHARIVARIA.
      • Doctor. "YOUR THROAT IS IN A VERY BAD STATE. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED GARGLING WITH SALT WATER?"
        • Skipper. "Yus, I'VE BEEN TORPEDOED SIX TIMES."
      • Skipper. "Yus, I'VE BEEN TORPEDOED SIX TIMES."
    • Doctor. "YOUR THROAT IS IN A VERY BAD STATE. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED GARGLING WITH SALT WATER?"
      • Skipper. "Yus, I'VE BEEN TORPEDOED SIX TIMES."
    • Skipper. "Yus, I'VE BEEN TORPEDOED SIX TIMES."
    • A War Bargain.
    • ONE STAR.
      • THE FOUNTAIN.
      • "LIBRARY NOTES.
    • THE FOUNTAIN.
    • "LIBRARY NOTES.
    • "KEEP THE HOME FIRES BURNING."
      • SOLO BY OUR OPTIMISTIC PREMIER.
    • SOLO BY OUR OPTIMISTIC PREMIER.
    • THE MUD LARKS.
      • First unhappy Passenger. "OH, I SAY, CAN'T WE GO BACK NOW?" Boatman. "NOT YET, SIR. THE GENTLEMAN IN THE BOWS INSISTS ON 'AVING 'IS SIXPENNORTH."
        • Sergeant (in charge of the raw material). "NOW, NUMBER TWO, WE'LL HAVE THAT MOVEMENT ONCE AGAIN. DON'T FORGET THIS TIME—NECK LIKE A SWAN, FEET LIKE A FAIRY."
      • Sergeant (in charge of the raw material). "NOW, NUMBER TWO, WE'LL HAVE THAT MOVEMENT ONCE AGAIN. DON'T FORGET THIS TIME—NECK LIKE A SWAN, FEET LIKE A FAIRY."
    • First unhappy Passenger. "OH, I SAY, CAN'T WE GO BACK NOW?" Boatman. "NOT YET, SIR. THE GENTLEMAN IN THE BOWS INSISTS ON 'AVING 'IS SIXPENNORTH."
      • Sergeant (in charge of the raw material). "NOW, NUMBER TWO, WE'LL HAVE THAT MOVEMENT ONCE AGAIN. DON'T FORGET THIS TIME—NECK LIKE A SWAN, FEET LIKE A FAIRY."
    • Sergeant (in charge of the raw material). "NOW, NUMBER TWO, WE'LL HAVE THAT MOVEMENT ONCE AGAIN. DON'T FORGET THIS TIME—NECK LIKE A SWAN, FEET LIKE A FAIRY."
    • HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.
      • (Herr MICHAELIS: Marshal VON HINDENBURG.)
      • LINES TO A HUN AIRMAN,
        • WHO AROUSED THE DETACHMENT ON A CHILLY MORNING, AT 2.30 A.M.
      • WHO AROUSED THE DETACHMENT ON A CHILLY MORNING, AT 2.30 A.M.
      • GLIMPSES OF THE FUTURE.
        • Maid. "MR. JONES, SIR—HIM WOT KILLED SEVENTEEN GERMANS IN ONE TRENCH WITH HIS OWN 'ANDS—'AS CALLED FOR THE GAS ACCOUNT, SIR."
      • Maid. "MR. JONES, SIR—HIM WOT KILLED SEVENTEEN GERMANS IN ONE TRENCH WITH HIS OWN 'ANDS—'AS CALLED FOR THE GAS ACCOUNT, SIR."
      • THE LITTLE MATCH-GIRL.
        • (With apologies to the shade of HANS ANDERSEN.)
      • (With apologies to the shade of HANS ANDERSEN.)
      • Our Helpful Press.
        • Colonel (asked to review V.A.D. Corps, and not wishing to spring an order on them). "NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU LADIES TO FORM FOURS."
      • Colonel (asked to review V.A.D. Corps, and not wishing to spring an order on them). "NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU LADIES TO FORM FOURS."
      • THE PASSING OF THE COD'S HEAD.
        • (A Romance of Chiswick Mall.)
      • (A Romance of Chiswick Mall.)
      • LIBERATORS.
        • VENIZELOS to KERENSKY. "DO NOT DESPAIR. I TOO WENT THROUGH SUFFERING BEFORE ACHIEVING UNITY."
      • VENIZELOS to KERENSKY. "DO NOT DESPAIR. I TOO WENT THROUGH SUFFERING BEFORE ACHIEVING UNITY."
    • (Herr MICHAELIS: Marshal VON HINDENBURG.)
    • LINES TO A HUN AIRMAN,
      • WHO AROUSED THE DETACHMENT ON A CHILLY MORNING, AT 2.30 A.M.
    • WHO AROUSED THE DETACHMENT ON A CHILLY MORNING, AT 2.30 A.M.
    • GLIMPSES OF THE FUTURE.
      • Maid. "MR. JONES, SIR—HIM WOT KILLED SEVENTEEN GERMANS IN ONE TRENCH WITH HIS OWN 'ANDS—'AS CALLED FOR THE GAS ACCOUNT, SIR."
    • Maid. "MR. JONES, SIR—HIM WOT KILLED SEVENTEEN GERMANS IN ONE TRENCH WITH HIS OWN 'ANDS—'AS CALLED FOR THE GAS ACCOUNT, SIR."
    • THE LITTLE MATCH-GIRL.
      • (With apologies to the shade of HANS ANDERSEN.)
    • (With apologies to the shade of HANS ANDERSEN.)
    • Our Helpful Press.
      • Colonel (asked to review V.A.D. Corps, and not wishing to spring an order on them). "NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU LADIES TO FORM FOURS."
    • Colonel (asked to review V.A.D. Corps, and not wishing to spring an order on them). "NOW, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU LADIES TO FORM FOURS."
    • THE PASSING OF THE COD'S HEAD.
      • (A Romance of Chiswick Mall.)
    • (A Romance of Chiswick Mall.)
    • LIBERATORS.
      • VENIZELOS to KERENSKY. "DO NOT DESPAIR. I TOO WENT THROUGH SUFFERING BEFORE ACHIEVING UNITY."
    • VENIZELOS to KERENSKY. "DO NOT DESPAIR. I TOO WENT THROUGH SUFFERING BEFORE ACHIEVING UNITY."
    • WAR-TIME WALKS.
      • LINES ON RE-READING "BLEAK HOUSE."
      • "WHAT PEOPLE SAY.
      • "ESCAPED GERMAN FLYING MEN.
    • LINES ON RE-READING "BLEAK HOUSE."
    • "WHAT PEOPLE SAY.
    • "ESCAPED GERMAN FLYING MEN.
    • AT THE PLAY.
      • "THE INVISIBLE FOE."
        • Servant (on hearing air-raid warning). "I SHALL STAND HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE 'ALL, MUM, SO THAT IF A BOMB COMES IN AT THE FRONT-DOOR WE CAN GO OUT AT THE BACK."
      • Servant (on hearing air-raid warning). "I SHALL STAND HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE 'ALL, MUM, SO THAT IF A BOMB COMES IN AT THE FRONT-DOOR WE CAN GO OUT AT THE BACK."
    • "THE INVISIBLE FOE."
      • Servant (on hearing air-raid warning). "I SHALL STAND HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE 'ALL, MUM, SO THAT IF A BOMB COMES IN AT THE FRONT-DOOR WE CAN GO OUT AT THE BACK."
    • Servant (on hearing air-raid warning). "I SHALL STAND HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE 'ALL, MUM, SO THAT IF A BOMB COMES IN AT THE FRONT-DOOR WE CAN GO OUT AT THE BACK."
    • PLAYING THE GAME.
      • Bank Cashier (gazing at golden orb of day). "IT'S A REAL HOLIDAY TO WATCH THESE SUNSETS—AFTER ALL THE PAPER MONEY."
      • The Huns at Home.
    • Bank Cashier (gazing at golden orb of day). "IT'S A REAL HOLIDAY TO WATCH THESE SUNSETS—AFTER ALL THE PAPER MONEY."
    • The Huns at Home.
    • PRESERVING THEIR PROSPECTS.
      • Farmer. "YOU'LL NOT BE FEELING GIDDY, SURR?"
        • R.F.C. Officer (on leave). "NOT TILL WE REACH TEN THOUSAND FEET."
      • R.F.C. Officer (on leave). "NOT TILL WE REACH TEN THOUSAND FEET."
    • Farmer. "YOU'LL NOT BE FEELING GIDDY, SURR?"
      • R.F.C. Officer (on leave). "NOT TILL WE REACH TEN THOUSAND FEET."
    • R.F.C. Officer (on leave). "NOT TILL WE REACH TEN THOUSAND FEET."
    • THE CONVERT.
      • AN ADAMLESS EDEN.
    • AN ADAMLESS EDEN.
    • OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
      • (By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks.)
      • Another Impending Apology.
    • (By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks.)
    • Another Impending Apology.
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