THE EARLY WORM

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

CONTENTS

THE EARLY WORM

A TALK TO YOUNG MEN Graduation Address on “The Decline of Sex”

THE SEED OF REVOLT

PAUL REVERE’S RIDE How a Modest Go-Getter Did His Bit for the Juno Acid Bath Corporation

FASCINATING CRIMES I. The Odd Occurrence in the Life of Dr. Meethas

UPSETS

AN INTERVIEW WITH MUSSOLINI

THE LIFE POLAR EXPEDITION

THE SAVING-“OLD-IRONSIDES” HABIT

A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS

LIFE IN THE RITZ TENEMENT

OLD PROGRAM FROM THE BENCHLEY COLLECTION A Glance Backward in the Manner of the Authors of Theatrical Reminiscences

WHAT COLLEGE DID TO ME An Outline of Education

AN INTERVIEW WITH THEODORE DREISER

FASCINATING CRIMES II. The Wallack Disappearances

LOUIS DOT DOPE

THE RISE AND FALL OF THE CHRISTMAS CARD

THE HENNA DECADE What May Happen to Our Age When Thomas Beer Catches Up to It

A PLAN TO STABILIZE THE FRANC

SEX IS OUT

UNCLE EDITH’S GHOST STORY

FASCINATING CRIMES III. The Missing Floor

THE END OF THE SEASON

EXAM TIME

THROWING BACK THE EUROPEAN OFFENSIVE

AN INTERVIEW WITH VICE-PRESIDENT DAWES

THE LIFE POLAR EXPEDITION

A GHOST STORY (As Sherwood Anderson Would Write It If He Weren’t Prevented)

DISCOVERING WEBER AND FIELDS If There Had Been Erudite Criticism in the Nineties

WATER FOOTBALL Suggestions to the Rules Committee for Making Use of Rain

MORE SONGS FOR MELLER

FASCINATING CRIMES IV. The Lynn Horse-Car Murders

THE LIFE POLAR EXPEDITION

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE COUNTESS KAROLYI

THE BOYS’ CAMP BUSINESS

AT LAST A SUBSTITUTE FOR SNOW

THE NEW WING (Or That Sagredo Bed)

UNCLE CALVIN’S NO-WASTE GAMES

THE WORLD OF GRANDPA BENCHLEY Thinking Out Loud in the Manner of Mr. Wells’ Hero

THE LIFE POLAR EXPEDITION

HOW TO START A SUPPER CLUB

THE NEW VILLAINY

TIME-OFF FROM THE SHOW New York Sights Which the Visitor Should Not Miss

THE LIFE POLAR EXPEDITION

SPYING ON THE VEHICULAR TUNNEL

COMPILING AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY Suggestions as to How Theodore Dreiser Might Write His Next Human Document and Save Five Years’ Work

STORM WARNINGS FOR NEW YORK

THE LIFE POLAR EXPEDITION

Transcriber’s note

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