ABSURD DITTIES

ABSURD DITTIES

CONTENTS.

ABSURD DITTIES.

I. THAT OF MR. JUSTICE DEAR.

II. THAT OF THE LATE MR. BROWN.

III. THAT OF OUR OLD FRIEND BISHOP P.

IV. THAT OF CAPTAIN ARCHIBALD McKAN.

V. THAT OF MATILDA.

VI. THAT OF "DOCTHOR" PATRICK O'DOOLEY.

VII. THAT OF MY AUNT BETSY.

VIII. THAT OF THE TUCK-SHOP WOMAN.

IX. THAT OF S. P. IDERS WEBBE, SOLICITOR.

X. THAT OF MONSIEUR ALPHONSE VERT.

XI. THAT OF LORD WILLIAM OF PURLEIGH.

XII. THAT OF PASHA ABDULLA BEY.

XIII. THAT OF ALGERNON CROKER.

XIV. THAT OF——?

XV. THAT OF THE RIVAL HAIRDRESSERS.

XVI. THAT OF THE AUCTIONEER'S DREAM.

XVII. THAT OF THE PLAIN COOK.

XVIII. THAT OF "8" AND "22."

XIX. THAT OF THE HOOLIGAN AND THE PHILANTROPIST.

XX. THAT OF THE SOCIALIST AND THE EARL.

XXI. THAT OF THE RETIRED PORK-BUTCHER AND THE SPOOK.

XXII. THAT OF THE POET AND THE BUCCANEERS.

XXIII. THAT OF THE UNDERGROUND "SULPHUR CURE."

XXIV. THAT OF THE FAIRY GRANDMOTHER AND THE COMPANY PROMOTER.

XXV. THAT OF THE GEISHA AND THE JAPANESE WARRIOR.

XXVI. THAT OF THE INDISCREET HEN AND THE RESOURCEFUL ROOSTER. (An Allegory.)

XXVII. THAT OF A DUEL IN FRANCE.

XXVIII. THAT OF THE ASTUTE NOVELIST.

XXIX. THAT OF THE ABSENT-MINDED LADY.

XXX. THAT OF THE GERMAN BAKER AND THE COOK.

XXXI. THAT OF THE CONVERTED CANNIBALS.

XXXII. THAT OF A FRUITLESS ENDEAVOUR.

XXXIII. THAT OF THE UNFORTUNATE LOVER.

XXXIV. THAT OF THE FEMALE GORILLY.

XXXV. THAT OF THE ARTIST AND THE MOTOR-CAR. (Tragedy.)

XXXVI. THAT OF THE INCONSIDERATE NABOB AND THE LADY WHO DESIRED TO BE A BEGUM.

XXXVII. THAT OF DR. FARLEY, M.D., SPECIALIST IN LITTLE TOES.

XXXVIII. THAT OF JEREMIAH SCOLES, MISER.

XXXIX. THAT OF THE HIGH-SOULED YOUTH.

XL. THAT OF MR. JUSTICE DEAR'S LITTLE JOKE AND THE UNFORTUNATE MAN WHO COULD NOT SEE IT.

XLI. THAT OF THE LADIES OF ASCENSION ISLAND.

XLII. THAT OF THE ARTICULATING SKELETON.

XLIII. THAT OF YE LOVE-PHILTRE: AN OLD-ENGLISH LEGEND.

XLIV. THAT OF THE BARGAIN SALE.

XLV. THAT OF A DECEASED FLY. (A Ballade.)

EPILOGUE.

Transcriber's Note