The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]
Free

The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]

By Gideon Wurdz
Free
Book Description
Table of Contents
  • The FOOLISH DICTIONARY
  • An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by
    • A FEW PICTURES
      • Executed by
  • GIDEON WURDZ
    • Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious Lunacy, Fellow of the Royal Gibe Society, etc., etc.
      • To MY DOG, Who first heard these lines And didn't run away MAD, I Reverently Dedicate This Tome
      • "A Fool may give a Wise Man counsel."
  • Preface.
    • ABBREVIATIONS.
    • It's a long lane that has no ashbarrel.
    • Distilled waters run deep.
    • Fine feathers make fine feather-beds.
    • A stitch in time saves embarrassing exposure.
    • People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark.
    • Don't put all your eggs in one basket—try an incubator.
    • All work and no play makes Jack A Dead One.
    • Out of fight, out of coin.—The Pugilist's Plaint.
    • Out of sight, only in mind.—Ballad of the Blind Beggar.
    • A word to the wise is useless.
    • It's never too late to spend.
    • A bird on the plate is worth two on the bonnet.
    • As ye sew, so shall ye rip.
    • Money makes the mayor go.—Proverbs of Politics.
    • There's many a slip twixt the toe and the heel.
    • Where there's a will there's a lawsuit.
    • Home is where the mortgage is.
    • Aim at a chorus-girl and you may hit a star.—Stage-Door Secrets.
    • After dinner sit a while, after supper walk a mile- And every meal's a supper to the Hobo.
    • Lies have no legs—That's why we all have to stand for them.
    • A chip of the old block—A daughter of the Tenderloin.
    • One man's meat is another man's finish—Canned Beef in Cuba.
    • Laugh-in-one's-sleeve—The direct route to the Funny-Bone.
    • Two heads are better than one—particularly on a Barrel of Money.
    • Hell is paved with good intentions—also asbestos.
    • A fool and his wife are soon parted. See Alimony.
    • All gone to 6's and 7's—Ladies' Footwear in Chicago.
    • Time and tide wait for no man—But time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
    • Out of the frying-pan into the face—Mothers' doughnuts.
    • Many hands make light work—also a good Jackpot.
    • Handsome is what hansoms charge.
    • Soap, long deferred, maketh the dirt stick.
    • Never make a mountain out of a mole-hill—Try gold, silver, copper or radium—there's more in it.
    • Charity begins at home—but ends when you reach The Cook.
    • Faint heart never won fair lady—but a full purse can always pull the trick.
    • Man proposes, then woman imposes.
    • Beggars should never be choosers—though the beggar often chews what he begs.
    • A miss is as good as her smile.
    • Fortune knocks only once at a man's door—And she's the worst Knocker in the world.
    • Brevity is the soul of wit—and the sole charm of of a bicycle skirt.
    • It's a wise son who can get two birds with One Bone.
    • There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to Fortune—But most of us catch our watered stock on the ebb.
    • A rolling stone gathers no moss—except at roulette.
    • But a stony roll always gathers the stony stare.
    • It's the first straw hat which shows how the wind blows.
    • A Ride goeth before a Fall.— See Automobile, Bucking Broncho, Bicycle, Air-Ship, Patrol-Wagon, Rail, and Go-Cart.
  • Postage and Postal Information.
  • A Few Mythological and Classical Names.
  • Legal and Local Holidays in the United States.
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