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The Foolish Dictionary An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by a few pictures [not included]
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English
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The FOOLISH DICTIONARY
An exhausting work of reference to un-certain English words, their origin, meaning, legitimate and illegitimate use, confused by
A FEW PICTURES
Executed by
GIDEON WURDZ
Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious Lunacy, Fellow of the Royal Gibe Society, etc., etc.
To MY DOG, Who first heard these lines And didn't run away MAD, I Reverently Dedicate This Tome
"A Fool may give a Wise Man counsel."
Preface.
ABBREVIATIONS.
It's a long lane that has no ashbarrel.
Distilled waters run deep.
Fine feathers make fine feather-beds.
A stitch in time saves embarrassing exposure.
People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket—try an incubator.
All work and no play makes Jack A Dead One.
Out of fight, out of coin.—The Pugilist's Plaint.
Out of sight, only in mind.—Ballad of the Blind Beggar.
A word to the wise is useless.
It's never too late to spend.
A bird on the plate is worth two on the bonnet.
As ye sew, so shall ye rip.
Money makes the mayor go.—Proverbs of Politics.
There's many a slip twixt the toe and the heel.
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit.
Home is where the mortgage is.
Aim at a chorus-girl and you may hit a star.—Stage-Door Secrets.
After dinner sit a while, after supper walk a mile- And every meal's a supper to the Hobo.
Lies have no legs—That's why we all have to stand for them.
A chip of the old block—A daughter of the Tenderloin.
One man's meat is another man's finish—Canned Beef in Cuba.
Laugh-in-one's-sleeve—The direct route to the Funny-Bone.
Two heads are better than one—particularly on a Barrel of Money.
Hell is paved with good intentions—also asbestos.
A fool and his wife are soon parted. See Alimony.
All gone to 6's and 7's—Ladies' Footwear in Chicago.
Time and tide wait for no man—But time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Out of the frying-pan into the face—Mothers' doughnuts.
Many hands make light work—also a good Jackpot.
Handsome is what hansoms charge.
Soap, long deferred, maketh the dirt stick.
Never make a mountain out of a mole-hill—Try gold, silver, copper or radium—there's more in it.
Charity begins at home—but ends when you reach The Cook.
Faint heart never won fair lady—but a full purse can always pull the trick.
Man proposes, then woman imposes.
Beggars should never be choosers—though the beggar often chews what he begs.
A miss is as good as her smile.
Fortune knocks only once at a man's door—And she's the worst Knocker in the world.
Brevity is the soul of wit—and the sole charm of of a bicycle skirt.
It's a wise son who can get two birds with One Bone.
There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to Fortune—But most of us catch our watered stock on the ebb.
A rolling stone gathers no moss—except at roulette.
But a stony roll always gathers the stony stare.
It's the first straw hat which shows how the wind blows.
A Ride goeth before a Fall.— See Automobile, Bucking Broncho, Bicycle, Air-Ship, Patrol-Wagon, Rail, and Go-Cart.
Postage and Postal Information.
A Few Mythological and Classical Names.
Legal and Local Holidays in the United States.
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