Nothing to Eat
Horatio Alger
Literature & Fiction
Nothing to Eat

Variously attributed to Horatio Alger, Jr. and T. C. Haliburton.

NOT By the Author of "Nothing to Wear"
"I'll nibble a little at what I have got."
—"My appetite's none of the best. And so I must pamper the delicate thing." —The least mite will suffice: A side bone and dressing and bit of the breast. The tip of the rump—that's it—and one of the fli's"
Respectfully Dedicated TO ALL LADIES "DYING WITH DYSPEPSIA. "Where fashion and folly are all of a suit." BY A JOLLY GOOD NATURED AUTHOR.
Not by the Author of "Nothing to Wear."
The Argument
The Proof—the Queen of Fashion
The Object aimed at.
What another Poet did.
How the Author sometimes Dines.
Merdle the Banker.
Places Where Mortals Dine.
Things That Mortals Eat There.
The Invitation.
The Merdle Origin.
Mrs. Merdle At Home.
Mrs. Merdle goes to Market.
The Dinner-bell Rings.
The Dinner Table Talk.
Mrs. Merdle doubts Paradise's Uneating Pleasure.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Earthly.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Things Eatable.
Mrs. Merdle Ordereth the Second Course.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Hygiene and Fish Sauce.
Mrs. Merdle Describeth her Doctor.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth again on Dinner.
Mrs. Merdle Accepteth of a slight Dinner, suitable for a Woman suffering with Dyspepsia.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Wishes and her Sufferings.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of Pudding.
Mrs. Merdle Discourseth of the necessity of good Wine and other Matters.
Mrs. Merdle Suggesteth that Dinner being finished, the Gentlement will Smoke. In the meantime, she Discourseth.
Mrs. Merdle, having "Nibbled a Little" for two Hours at Dinner, retireth from the Table unsatisfied.
The Poet Moralizeth—He Discourseth to those who Gorge and Complain.
He Discourseth of the Wherefore of Bachelorism.
He Discourseth of What some Mortals Live for.
He Imploreth Mercy upon those condemned with fashionable folly to Marry, and Illustrateth their Condition.
He Imploreth Merry for other Unfortunate Beings.
He Discourseth of a Common Prayer.
He Discourseth of Trouble and Sorrow.
He Moralizeth upon what a Day may Bring forth.
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