Humorous Hits and How to Hold an Audience A Collection of Short Selections, Stories and Sketches for All Occasions
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Humorous Hits and How to Hold an Audience A Collection of Short Selections, Stories and Sketches for All Occasions

By Grenville Kleiser
Free
Book Description
Table of Contents
  • HUMOROUS HITS AND How to Hold an Audience
  • INTRODUCTORY
  • CONTENTS
  • PART I HOW TO HOLD AN AUDIENCE
    • THE VOICE
    • THE BREATH
    • MODULATION
    • PAUSING
    • FEELING AND ENERGY
    • GESTURE AND ACTION
    • IMPERSONATION
    • ARTICULATION AND PRONUNCIATION
    • IMAGINATION
    • HOW TO MEMORIZE A SELECTION
    • BEFORE THE AUDIENCE
  • PART II HUMOROUS HITS
    • THE TRAIN-MISSER BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY
    • THE ELOCUTIONIST'S CURFEW BY W. D. NESBIT
    • MELPOMENUS JONES BY STEPHEN LEACOCK
    • HER FIFTEEN MINUTES BY TOM MASSON
    • THE FOXES' TAILS ANONYMOUS
    • THE DEAD KITTEN ANONYMOUS
    • THE WEATHER FIEND ANONYMOUS
    • THE RACE QUESTION BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR
    • WHEN THE WOODBINE TURNS RED ANONYMOUS
    • CUPID'S CASUISTRY BY W. J. LAMPTON
    • WHEN MAH LADY YAWNS BY CHARLES T. GRILLEY
    • WATCHIN' THE SPARKIN' BY FRED EMERSON BROOKS
    • THE WAY OF A WOMAN BY BYRON W. KING
    • THE YACHT CLUB SPEECH ANONYMOUS
    • MAMMY'S LI'L' BOY BY H. S. EDWARDS
    • CORYDON BY THOMAS BAILEY ALDRICH
    • GIB HIM ONE UB MINE BY DANIEL WEBSTER DAVIS
    • A LESSON WITH THE FAN ANONYMOUS
    • THE UNDERTOW BY CARRIE BLAKE MORGAN
    • MARKETING ANONYMOUS
    • A SPRING IDYL ON "GRASS" BY NIXON WATERMAN
    • INTRODUCIN' THE SPEECHER BY EDWIN L. BARKER
    • COUNTING ONE HUNDRED BY JAMES M. BAILEY
    • THEY NEVER QUARRELED ANONYMOUS
    • SONG OF THE "L" BY GRENVILLE KLEISER
    • THE VILLAGE ORACLE BY J. L. HARBOUR
    • IF I CAN BE BY HER BY BENJAMIN FRANKLIN KING
    • McCARTHY AND McMANUS ANONYMOUS
    • AND SHE CRIED BY MINNA IRVING
    • DOT LEEDLE BOY BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY
    • MR. DOOLEY ON THE GRIP BY FINLAY PETER DUNNE
    • A RAINY DAY EPISODE ANONYMOUS
    • I KNEW HE WOULD COME IF I WAITED BY HORACE G. WILLIAMSON
    • LOVE'S MOODS AND SENSES ANONYMOUS
    • A NOCTURNAL SKETCH BY THOMAS HOOD
    • KATIE'S ANSWER ANONYMOUS
    • "'SPĂ„CIALLY JIM" ANONYMOUS
    • AGNES, I LOVE THEE! ANONYMOUS
    • THE GORILLA ANONYMOUS
    • BANGING A SENSATIONAL NOVELIST ANONYMOUS
    • HOPKINS' LAST MOMENTS ANONYMOUS
    • THE FAIRIES' TEA ANONYMOUS
    • COUNTING EGGS ANONYMOUS
    • THE OATMOBILE ANONYMOUS
    • ALMOST BEYOND ENDURANCE BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY
    • PROOF POSITIVE ANONYMOUS
    • THE IRISH PHILOSOPHER ANONYMOUS
    • BELAGCHOLLY DAYS ANONYMOUS
    • A PANTOMIME SPEECH ANONYMOUS
    • THE ORIGINAL LAMB ANONYMOUS
    • WHEN PA WAS A BOY BY S. E. KISER
    • THE FRECKLED-FACED GIRL (She entertains a visitor while her mother is dressing) ANONYMOUS
    • WILLIE BY MAX EHRMANN
    • AMATEUR NIGHT ANONYMOUS
    • BOUNDING THE UNITED STATES BY JOHN FISKE
    • DER DOG UND DER LOBSTER ANONYMOUS
    • HE LAUGHED LAST ANONYMOUS
    • NORAH MURPHY AND THE SPIRITS BY HENRY HATTON
    • OPIE READ BY WALLACE BRUCE AMSBARY
    • THE VILLAGE CHOIR After the Charge of the Light Brigade ANONYMOUS
    • BILLY OF NEBRASKA BY J. W. BENGOUGH
    • DOT LAMBS VOT MARY HAF GOT ANONYMOUS
    • GEORGA WASHINGDONE ANONYMOUS
    • DA 'MERICANA GIRL BY T. A. DALY
    • BECKY MILLER ANONYMOUS
    • PAT AND THE MAYOR ANONYMOUS
    • THE WIND AND THE MOON BY GEORGE MACDONALD
    • TOTAL ANNIHILATION ANONYMOUS
    • UPS AND DOWNS OF MARRIED LIFE ANONYMOUS
    • THE CROOKED MOUTH FAMILY ANONYMOUS
    • "IMPH-M" ANONYMOUS
    • THE USUAL WAY ANONYMOUS
    • NOTHING SUITED HIM ANONYMOUS
    • A LITTLE FELLER ANONYMOUS
    • ROBIN TAMSON'S SMIDDY BY ALEXANDER RODGER
    • A BIG MISTAKE ANONYMOUS
    • LORD DUNDREARY'S LETTER ANONYMOUS
    • SLANG PHRASES ANONYMOUS
    • THE MERCHANT AND THE BOOK AGENT ANONYMOUS
    • THE COON'S LULLABY ANONYMOUS
    • PARODY ON BARBARA FRIETCHIE ANONYMOUS
    • BEFORE AND AFTER BY CHARLES T. GRILLEY
    • WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK ANONYMOUS
    • MR. POTTS' STORY BY MAX ADELER
    • AT FIVE O'CLOCK TEA BY MORRIS WADE
    • KEEP A-GOIN'! BY FRANK L. STANTON
    • A LOVER'S QUARREL BY CYNTHIA COLES
    • CASEY AT THE BAT BY PHINEAS THAYER
    • FAMILIAR LINES ANONYMOUS
    • A FRIENDLY GAME OF CHECKERS ANONYMOUS
    • MODERN ROMANCE BY HENRY M. BLOSSOM, JR.
    • LULLABY BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR
    • THE REASON WHY BY MARY E. BRADLEY
    • HOW A BACHELOR SEWS ON A BUTTON ANONYMOUS
    • CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS ANONYMOUS
    • THE FLY ANONYMOUS
    • THE YARN OF THE "NANCY BELL" BY W. S. GILBERT
    • I TOL' YER SO BY JOHN L. HEATON
    • "YOU GIT UP!" BY JOE KERR
    • PRESENTATION OF THE TRUMPET ANONYMOUS
    • DON'T USE BIG WORDS ANONYMOUS
    • DER MULE SHTOOD ON DER STEAMBOAD DECK ANONYMOUS
    • THE NEW SCHOOL READER ANONYMOUS
    • THE POOR WAS MAD A FAIRY SHTORY FOR LITTLE CHILDHER BY CHARLES BATTELL LOOMIS
    • LIDES TO BARY JADE ANONYMOUS
    • "CHARLIE MUST NOT RING TO-NIGHT" Parody on "Curfew Must not Ring To-night" ANONYMOUS
    • A SHORT ENCORE
    • MY DOUBLE, AND HOW HE UNDID ME BY EDWARD EVERETT HALE
    • ROMANCE OF A HAMMOCK ANONYMOUS
    • FINNIGIN TO FLANNIGAN BY S. W. GILLINAN
    • AN INTRODUCTION BY MARK TWAIN
    • THE HARP OF A THOUSAND STRINGS A Hard-shell Baptist Sermon BY JOSHUA S. MORRIS
    • THE DIFFICULTY OF RIMING ANONYMOUS
    • SO WAS I BY JOSEPH BERT SMILEY
    • THE ENCHANTED SHIRT BY JOHN HAY
    • DER OAK UND DER VINE BY CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS
    • THE SHIP OF FAITH ANONYMOUS
    • HE WANTED TO KNOW ANONYMOUS
    • AN OPPORTUNITY ANONYMOUS
    • GAPE-SEED ANONYMOUS
    • LARIAT BILL ANONYMOUS
    • THE CANDIDATE BY BILL NYE
    • ONE AFTERNOON ANONYMOUS
    • NOT IN IT ANONYMOUS
    • A TWILIGHT IDYL BY ROBERT J. BURDETTE
    • LAVERY'S HENS ANONYMOUS
    • LISP ANONYMOUS
    • THEY MET BY CHANCE ANONYMOUS
    • THE BRIDEGROOM'S TOAST ANONYMOUS
    • REHEARSING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS BY STANLEY HUNTLEY
    • THE V-A-S-E BY JAMES JEFFREY ROCHE
    • PAPA AND THE BOY BY J. L. HARBOUR
    • THE OBSTRUCTIVE HAT IN THE PIT BY F. ANSTEY
    • HULLO BY S. W. FOSS
    • THE DUTCHMAN'S TELEPHONE ANONYMOUS
    • DOCTOR MARIGOLD BY CHARLES DICKENS
    • THE RULING PASSION BY WILLIAM H. SIVITER
    • THE DUTCHMAN'S SERENADE ANONYMOUS
    • WIDOW MALONE BY CHARLES LEVER
    • HIS LEG SHOT OFF ANONYMOUS
    • THE STUTTERING UMPIRE BY THE KHAN
    • THE MAN WHO WILL MAKE A SPEECH ANONYMOUS
    • CARLOTTA MIA BY T. A. DALY
    • THE VASSAR GIRL BY WALLACE IRWIN
    • A SHORT SERMON ANONYMOUS
    • A LANCASHIRE DIALECTIC SKETCH (Tummy and Meary) ANONYMOUS
    • HIS BLACKSTONIAN CIRCUMLOCUTION ANONYMOUS
    • KATRINA LIKES ME POODY VELL ANONYMOUS
    • AT THE RESTAURANT ANONYMOUS
    • A-FEARED OF A GAL ANONYMOUS
    • LEAVING OUT THE JOKE ANONYMOUS
    • THE CYCLOPEEDY BY EUGENE FIELD
    • ECHO BY JOHN G. SAXE
    • OUR RAILROADS ANONYMOUS
    • WAKIN' THE YOUNG 'UNS (The old man from the foot of the stairs—5 a. m.) BY JOHN C. BOSS
    • PAT'S REASON ANONYMOUS
    • QUIT YOUR FOOLIN' ANONYMOUS
    • SHE WOULD BE A MASON BY JAMES L. LAUGHTON
    • HENRY THE FIFTH'S WOOING BY SHAKESPEARE
    • SCENE FROM "THE RIVALS" BY RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN
    • SCENES FROM "RIP VAN WINKLE" AS RECITED BY THE LATE A. P. BURBANK
  • PART III SERIOUS HITS
    • IF WE HAD THE TIME BY RICHARD BURTON
    • THE FOOL'S PRAYER BY EDWARD ROWLAND SILL
    • THE EVE OF WATERLOO BY LORD BYRON
    • THE WRECK OF THE JULIE PLANTE BY WILLIAM HENRY DRUMMOND
    • FATHER'S WAY BY EUGENE FIELD
    • I AM CONTENT TRANSLATED BY CARMEN SYLVA
    • THE EAGLE'S SONG BY RICHARD MANSFIELD
    • BREAK, BREAK, BREAK BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON
    • VIRGINIUS BY MACAULAY
    • THE WOMEN OF MUMBLES HEAD BY CLEMENT SCOTT
    • WILLIAM TELL AND HIS BOY BY WILLIAM BAINE
    • LASCA BY F. DESPREZ
    • THE VOLUNTEER ORGANIST BY S. W. FOSS
    • LIFE COMPARED TO A GAME OF CARDS ANONYMOUS
    • OLD DADDY TURNER ANONYMOUS
    • THE TRAMP ANONYMOUS
    • THE DANDY FIFTH BY F. H. GASSAWAY
    • ON LINCOLN BY WALT WHITMAN
    • THE LITTLE STOWAWAY ANONYMOUS
    • SAINT CRISPIAN'S DAY BY SHAKESPEARE
    • THE C'RRECT CARD BY GEORGE R. SIMS
    • THE ENGINEER'S STORY BY ROSA H. THORPE
    • THE FACE UPON THE FLOOR BY H. ANTOINE D'ARCY
    • THE FUNERAL OF THE FLOWERS BY T. DE WITT TALMAGE
    • CATO'S SOLILOQUY ON IMMORTALITY BY JOSEPH ADDISON
    • OPPORTUNITY BY JOHN J. INGALLS
    • OPPORTUNITY'S REPLY BY WALTER MALONE
    • THE ERL-KING BY JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE (Translated by Sir Walter Scott)
    • CARCASSONNE BY M. E. W. SHERWOOD
    • THE MUSICIANS ANONYMOUS
    • ON THE RAPPAHANNOCK ANONYMOUS
    • COMO BY JOAQUIN MILLER
    • AUX ITALIENS BY OWEN MEREDITH
  • INDEX
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