The So-called Human Race
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Language
English
ISBN
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[p i]The So-Called Human Race
[p iii]The So-Called Human Race
[p v]WORLD WITHOUT END
[p vii]Foreword
[p xi]The So-Called Human Race
[p xi]The So-Called Human Race
[p 1]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
SIMPLE
[p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
[p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
[p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
HEARD IN THE BANK.
TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
[p 15]HOME TIES.
THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
[p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
GARDENS.
GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
[p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
[p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
[p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
HEARD IN THE BANK.
TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
[p 15]HOME TIES.
THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
[p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
GARDENS.
GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
SIMPLE
[p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
[p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
[p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
HEARD IN THE BANK.
TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
[p 15]HOME TIES.
THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
[p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
GARDENS.
GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
[p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
[p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
[p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
HEARD IN THE BANK.
TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
[p 15]HOME TIES.
THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
[p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
GARDENS.
GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
[p 25]Gilded Fairy Tales.
(Revised and regilded for comprehension by the children of the very rich.)
THE BABES IN THE WOOD.
I
[p 27]II
III
I
[p 27]II
III
[p 30]LITTLE RED RIDING-HOOD.
I
II
I
II
[p 33]JACK AND THE BEANSTALK.
I
II
III
I
II
III
(Revised and regilded for comprehension by the children of the very rich.)
THE BABES IN THE WOOD.
I
[p 27]II
III
I
[p 27]II
III
[p 30]LITTLE RED RIDING-HOOD.
I
II
I
II
[p 33]JACK AND THE BEANSTALK.
I
II
III
I
II
III
[p 39]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
“FAY CE QUE VOULDRAS.”
THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
[p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
SHE SAT APART.
THE G. P. P.
BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES?
[p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
ACADEMY NOTES.
TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
Postscriptum.
ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
HE SHOULD.
WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
DOXOLOGY.
MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
[p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
SHE SAT APART.
THE G. P. P.
BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES?
[p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
ACADEMY NOTES.
TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
Postscriptum.
ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
HE SHOULD.
WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
DOXOLOGY.
MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
“FAY CE QUE VOULDRAS.”
THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
[p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
SHE SAT APART.
THE G. P. P.
BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES?
[p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
ACADEMY NOTES.
TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
Postscriptum.
ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
HE SHOULD.
WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
DOXOLOGY.
MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
[p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
SHE SAT APART.
THE G. P. P.
BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES?
[p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
ACADEMY NOTES.
TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
Postscriptum.
ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
HE SHOULD.
WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
DOXOLOGY.
MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
[p 67]The Delectable River.
I.—DOCTOR MAYHEW’S SHOP.
II.—THE RIVER.
III.—SMUDGE.
IV.—“BOGWAH.”
V.—FINE FEATHERS.
VI.—THALASSA!
I.—DOCTOR MAYHEW’S SHOP.
II.—THE RIVER.
III.—SMUDGE.
IV.—“BOGWAH.”
V.—FINE FEATHERS.
VI.—THALASSA!
[p 79]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
ARMS AND THE COLYUM.
WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
THEY’RE OFF!
SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
BUT APROPOS.
SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
“THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
THE DICTATERS.
THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
[p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
LULLABY.
“LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
THEY’RE OFF!
SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
BUT APROPOS.
SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
“THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
THE DICTATERS.
THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
[p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
LULLABY.
“LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
ARMS AND THE COLYUM.
WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
THEY’RE OFF!
SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
BUT APROPOS.
SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
“THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
THE DICTATERS.
THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
[p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
LULLABY.
“LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
THEY’RE OFF!
SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
BUT APROPOS.
SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
“THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
THE DICTATERS.
THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
[p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
LULLABY.
“LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
[p 109]Alice in Cartoonland.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
[p 115]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
IT HAS BEEN DONE.
“ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
TEMPERATURE.
[p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
[p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
[p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
OPEN THE GATES!
MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
THE SANDS OF TIME.
THE TRUTH AT LAST!
THINK OF IT!
THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
[p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
[p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
ALMOST.
“ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
TEMPERATURE.
[p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
[p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
[p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
OPEN THE GATES!
MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
THE SANDS OF TIME.
THE TRUTH AT LAST!
THINK OF IT!
THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
[p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
[p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
ALMOST.
IT HAS BEEN DONE.
“ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
TEMPERATURE.
[p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
[p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
[p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
OPEN THE GATES!
MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
THE SANDS OF TIME.
THE TRUTH AT LAST!
THINK OF IT!
THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
[p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
[p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
ALMOST.
“ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
TEMPERATURE.
[p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
[p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
[p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
OPEN THE GATES!
MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
THE SANDS OF TIME.
THE TRUTH AT LAST!
THINK OF IT!
THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
[p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
[p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
ALMOST.
[p 139]The Witch’s Holiday.
A TALE FOR CHILDREN ONLY.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
A TALE FOR CHILDREN ONLY.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
[p 153]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
“THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
[p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
[p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
A GOOD MOTTO.
WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
MUSIC HINT.
[p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
[p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
“WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
[p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
[p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
A GOOD MOTTO.
WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
MUSIC HINT.
[p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
[p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
“WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
“THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
[p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
[p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
A GOOD MOTTO.
WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
MUSIC HINT.
[p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
[p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
“WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
[p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
[p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
A GOOD MOTTO.
WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
MUSIC HINT.
[p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
[p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
“WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
[p 177]The London Busman Story.
I.—As George Meredith might have related it.
II.—As Henry James might have written it.
III.—As finally elucidated by Arnold Bennett.
I.—As George Meredith might have related it.
II.—As Henry James might have written it.
III.—As finally elucidated by Arnold Bennett.
[p 183]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
APRILLY.
[p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
SMACK! SMACK!
MARCH.
LITERATURE.
SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
[p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
“THAT’S GOOD.”
WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
[p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
HAPPY THOUGHT.
[p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
SMACK! SMACK!
MARCH.
LITERATURE.
SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
[p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
“THAT’S GOOD.”
WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
[p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
HAPPY THOUGHT.
APRILLY.
[p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
SMACK! SMACK!
MARCH.
LITERATURE.
SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
[p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
“THAT’S GOOD.”
WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
[p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
HAPPY THOUGHT.
[p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
SMACK! SMACK!
MARCH.
LITERATURE.
SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
[p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
“THAT’S GOOD.”
WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
[p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
HAPPY THOUGHT.
[p 207]The Magic Kit.
A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC ELDERS.
I.
[p 209]II.
III.
IV.
I.
[p 209]II.
III.
IV.
A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC ELDERS.
I.
[p 209]II.
III.
IV.
I.
[p 209]II.
III.
IV.
[p 215]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
TO B. L. T. (Quintus Horatius Flaccus loquitur.)
BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
[p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
YEO-HEAVE-HO!
[p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
[p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
INDIFFERENCE.
BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
[p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
YEO-HEAVE-HO!
[p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
[p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
INDIFFERENCE.
TO B. L. T. (Quintus Horatius Flaccus loquitur.)
BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
[p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
YEO-HEAVE-HO!
[p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
[p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
INDIFFERENCE.
BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
[p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
YEO-HEAVE-HO!
[p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
[p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
INDIFFERENCE.
[p 237]Mr. Dubbe’s Program Study Class.
(ACCOMPANYING THE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERTS.) Reported by Miss Poeta Pants.
I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
(ACCOMPANYING THE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERTS.) Reported by Miss Poeta Pants.
I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
[p 251]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
THE PASSING OF SUMMER.
WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
DENTAL FLOSS.
JUST ABOUT.
[p 259]JAW JINGLES.
“NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
[p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
[p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
A BALANCED TUITION.
OPINION CONCURRED IN.
TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
[p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
[p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
[p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
DENTAL FLOSS.
JUST ABOUT.
[p 259]JAW JINGLES.
“NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
[p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
[p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
A BALANCED TUITION.
OPINION CONCURRED IN.
TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
[p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
[p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
[p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
THE PASSING OF SUMMER.
WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
DENTAL FLOSS.
JUST ABOUT.
[p 259]JAW JINGLES.
“NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
[p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
[p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
A BALANCED TUITION.
OPINION CONCURRED IN.
TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
[p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
[p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
[p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
DENTAL FLOSS.
JUST ABOUT.
[p 259]JAW JINGLES.
“NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
[p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
[p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
A BALANCED TUITION.
OPINION CONCURRED IN.
TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
[p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
[p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
[p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
[p 273]Vacation Travels.
[p 283]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
COUNTRY LIFE IN AMERICA.
THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
THE COME-BACK.
THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
TRADE CLASSICS.
DENATURED LIMERICKS.
MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
[p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
THE COME-BACK.
THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
TRADE CLASSICS.
DENATURED LIMERICKS.
MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
[p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
COUNTRY LIFE IN AMERICA.
THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
THE COME-BACK.
THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
TRADE CLASSICS.
DENATURED LIMERICKS.
MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
[p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
THE COME-BACK.
THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
TRADE CLASSICS.
DENATURED LIMERICKS.
MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
[p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
[p 305]Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.
BEING A FEW HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED PAGES FROM HIS JOURNAL.
I.
II.
I.
II.
BEING A FEW HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED PAGES FROM HIS JOURNAL.
I.
II.
I.
II.
[p 309]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
THE BROODING DOVE.
A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
YES, YES.
YE STUFF.
[p 313]DATED.
YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
THE TREE TOADS.
[p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
LIMERIK.
THE CHIGGER.
A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
ACT II., SCENE II.
[p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
[p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
MORNING IN IOWA.
AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
YOURS, ETC.
[p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
[p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
ACADEMY NOTES.
WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
[p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
YES, YES.
YE STUFF.
[p 313]DATED.
YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
THE TREE TOADS.
[p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
LIMERIK.
THE CHIGGER.
A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
ACT II., SCENE II.
[p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
[p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
MORNING IN IOWA.
AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
YOURS, ETC.
[p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
[p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
ACADEMY NOTES.
WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
[p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
Transcriber’s Note
THE BROODING DOVE.
A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
YES, YES.
YE STUFF.
[p 313]DATED.
YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
THE TREE TOADS.
[p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
LIMERIK.
THE CHIGGER.
A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
ACT II., SCENE II.
[p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
[p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
MORNING IN IOWA.
AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
YOURS, ETC.
[p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
[p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
ACADEMY NOTES.
WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
[p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
YES, YES.
YE STUFF.
[p 313]DATED.
YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
THE TREE TOADS.
[p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
LIMERIK.
THE CHIGGER.
A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
ACT II., SCENE II.
[p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
[p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
MORNING IN IOWA.
AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
YOURS, ETC.
[p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
[p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
ACADEMY NOTES.
WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
[p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
Transcriber’s Note
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