The So-called Human Race
Free

The So-called Human Race

By Bert Leston Taylor
Free
Book Description
Table of Contents
  • [p i]The So-Called Human Race
  • [p iii]The So-Called Human Race
    • [p v]WORLD WITHOUT END
    • [p vii]Foreword
      • [p xi]The So-Called Human Race
    • [p xi]The So-Called Human Race
    • [p 1]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • SIMPLE
        • [p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
        • [p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
        • THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
        • WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
        • WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
        • WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
        • [p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
        • HEARD IN THE BANK.
        • TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
        • [p 15]HOME TIES.
        • THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
        • THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
        • O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
        • [p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
        • GARDENS.
        • GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
      • [p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
      • [p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
      • THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
      • WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
      • WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
      • WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
      • [p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
      • HEARD IN THE BANK.
      • TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
      • [p 15]HOME TIES.
      • THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
      • THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
      • O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
      • [p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
      • GARDENS.
      • GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
    • SIMPLE
      • [p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
      • [p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
      • THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
      • WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
      • WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
      • WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
      • [p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
      • HEARD IN THE BANK.
      • TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
      • [p 15]HOME TIES.
      • THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
      • THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
      • O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
      • [p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
      • GARDENS.
      • GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
    • [p 2]NO DOUBT THERE ARE OTHERS.
    • [p 3]AN OBSERVANT KANSAN. [From the Emporia Gazette.]
    • THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
    • WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ALMOST”! [From the Cedar Rapids Republican.]
    • WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
    • WHERE ’VANGIE LIES. Rondeau Sentimental to Evangeline, the Office Goat.
    • [p 6]THE SECOND POST. (Letter from an island caretaker.)
    • HEARD IN THE BANK.
    • TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
    • [p 15]HOME TIES.
    • THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
    • THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
    • O WILD! O STRANGE! “That wild and strange thing, the press.”—H. G. Wells.
    • [p 19]THE POPOCATEPETL OF APPRECIATION. [From the Paris, Ill., News.]
    • GARDENS.
    • GOOD NIGHT! [From the Omaha Bee.]
    • [p 25]Gilded Fairy Tales.
      • (Revised and regilded for comprehension by the children of the very rich.)
      • THE BABES IN THE WOOD.
        • I
        • [p 27]II
        • III
      • I
      • [p 27]II
      • III
      • [p 30]LITTLE RED RIDING-HOOD.
        • I
        • II
      • I
      • II
      • [p 33]JACK AND THE BEANSTALK.
        • I
        • II
        • III
      • I
      • II
      • III
    • (Revised and regilded for comprehension by the children of the very rich.)
    • THE BABES IN THE WOOD.
      • I
      • [p 27]II
      • III
    • I
    • [p 27]II
    • III
    • [p 30]LITTLE RED RIDING-HOOD.
      • I
      • II
    • I
    • II
    • [p 33]JACK AND THE BEANSTALK.
      • I
      • II
      • III
    • I
    • II
    • III
    • [p 39]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • “FAY CE QUE VOULDRAS.”
        • THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
        • SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
        • [p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
        • EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
        • SHE SAT APART.
        • THE G. P. P.
        • BEG YOUR PARDON.
        • YES?
        • [p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
        • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
        • EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
        • BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
        • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
        • CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
        • MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
        • ACADEMY NOTES.
        • TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
        • Postscriptum.
        • ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
        • I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
        • AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
        • THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
        • A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
        • HE SHOULD.
        • WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
        • HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
        • AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
        • DOXOLOGY.
        • MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
        • OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
      • THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
      • SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
      • [p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
      • EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
      • SHE SAT APART.
      • THE G. P. P.
      • BEG YOUR PARDON.
      • YES?
      • [p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
      • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
      • EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
      • BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
      • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
      • CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
      • MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
      • ACADEMY NOTES.
      • TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
      • Postscriptum.
      • ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
      • I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
      • AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
      • THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
      • A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
      • HE SHOULD.
      • WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
      • HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
      • AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
      • DOXOLOGY.
      • MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
      • OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
    • “FAY CE QUE VOULDRAS.”
      • THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
      • SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
      • [p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
      • EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
      • SHE SAT APART.
      • THE G. P. P.
      • BEG YOUR PARDON.
      • YES?
      • [p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
      • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
      • EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
      • BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
      • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
      • CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
      • MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
      • ACADEMY NOTES.
      • TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
      • Postscriptum.
      • ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
      • I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
      • AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
      • THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
      • A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
      • HE SHOULD.
      • WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
      • HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
      • AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
      • DOXOLOGY.
      • MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
      • OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
    • THE DELIRIOUS CRITIC. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
    • SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
    • [p 45]BLAKE COMES BACK.
    • EVERYBODY CAME IN A FORD. [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
    • SHE SAT APART.
    • THE G. P. P.
    • BEG YOUR PARDON.
    • YES?
    • [p 51]THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT.
    • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the White Salmon Enterprise.]
    • EVERYTHING CONSIDERED, THE COMMA IS THE MOST USEFUL MARK OF PUNCTUATION. [From the El Paso Journal.]
    • BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. [From the Walsh County, N. D., Record.]
    • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER; OR, IT INDEED WAS. [From the St. Andrew’s Bay, Fla., News.]
    • CONTRETEMPS IN WYOMING SOCIETY. [From the Sheridan Post.]
    • MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
    • ACADEMY NOTES.
    • TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
    • Postscriptum.
    • ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
    • I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR, IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH MISS BURROUGHS’ HAIR. [From the Dallas Bulletin.]
    • AS JOYCE KILMER MIGHT HAVE SAID. [Kit Morley in the New York Evening Post.] “The Chicago Tribune owns forests of pulp wood.” —Full-page advt.
    • THE SECOND POST [A Swedish lady seeks congenial employment.]
    • A WISCONSIN PARABLE. [From the Fort Atkinson Union.]
    • HE SHOULD.
    • WHY THE EDITOR BEAT IT. [From the Marengo Republican-News.]
    • HERE IT IS AGAIN. [From the classified ads.]
    • AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
    • DOXOLOGY.
    • MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN FRED! [From the Milwaukee Sentinel.]
    • OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
    • [p 67]The Delectable River.
      • I.—DOCTOR MAYHEW’S SHOP.
      • II.—THE RIVER.
      • III.—SMUDGE.
      • IV.—“BOGWAH.”
      • V.—FINE FEATHERS.
      • VI.—THALASSA!
    • I.—DOCTOR MAYHEW’S SHOP.
    • II.—THE RIVER.
    • III.—SMUDGE.
    • IV.—“BOGWAH.”
    • V.—FINE FEATHERS.
    • VI.—THALASSA!
    • [p 79]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • ARMS AND THE COLYUM.
        • WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
        • THEY’RE OFF!
        • SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
        • BUT APROPOS.
        • SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
        • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
        • “THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
        • THE DICTATERS.
        • THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
        • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
        • BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
        • SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
        • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
        • FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
        • THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
        • [p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
        • BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
        • THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
        • THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
        • THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
        • A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
        • THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
        • BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
        • LULLABY.
        • “LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
      • WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
      • THEY’RE OFF!
      • SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
      • BUT APROPOS.
      • SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
      • “THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
      • THE DICTATERS.
      • THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
      • BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
      • SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
      • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
      • FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
      • THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
      • [p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
      • BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
      • THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
      • THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
      • THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
      • A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
      • THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
      • BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
      • LULLABY.
      • “LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
    • ARMS AND THE COLYUM.
      • WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
      • THEY’RE OFF!
      • SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
      • BUT APROPOS.
      • SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
      • “THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
      • THE DICTATERS.
      • THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
      • BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
      • SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
      • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
      • FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
      • THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
      • [p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
      • BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
      • THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
      • THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
      • THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
      • A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
      • THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
      • BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
      • LULLABY.
      • “LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
    • WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
    • THEY’RE OFF!
    • SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
    • BUT APROPOS.
    • SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
    • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a clothing company.]
    • “THOSE FLAPJACKS OF BROWN’S.” (Postscriptum.)
    • THE DICTATERS.
    • THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
    • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a construction company.]
    • BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
    • SUCH A ONE MIGHT HAVE DRAWN PRIAM’S CURTAIN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT, AND TOLD HIM HALF HIS TROY WAS BURNED. [From the Eagle Grove, Ia., Eagle.]
    • THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Lewisville, Ark., Recorder.]
    • FULL OF HIS SUBJECT. [From the Evansville, Ind., Courier.]
    • THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
    • [p 96]ENGLISH AS SHE IS MURDERED.
    • BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
    • THE STORM. (By a girl of ten years.)
    • THE EIGHTH VEIL. (By J-mes Hun-k-r.)
    • THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
    • A DAY WITH LORD DID-MORE. “Mr. Hearst is the home brew; no other hope.” —The Trib.
    • THE SECOND POST. [From a genius in Geneseo, Ill.]
    • BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
    • LULLABY.
    • “LEMME UP, DARLING! LEMME UP!” [From the Detroit Free Press.]
    • [p 109]Alice in Cartoonland.
      • I.
        • II.
        • III.
        • IV.
        • V.
        • VI.
      • II.
      • III.
      • IV.
      • V.
      • VI.
    • I.
      • II.
      • III.
      • IV.
      • V.
      • VI.
    • II.
    • III.
    • IV.
    • V.
    • VI.
    • [p 115]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • IT HAS BEEN DONE.
        • “ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
        • TEMPERATURE.
        • [p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
        • [p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
        • FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
        • THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
        • A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
        • [p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
        • OPEN THE GATES!
        • MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
        • VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
        • THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
        • THE SANDS OF TIME.
        • THE TRUTH AT LAST!
        • THINK OF IT!
        • THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
        • THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
        • WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
        • COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
        • RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
        • A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
        • WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
        • [p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
        • [p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
        • INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
        • ALMOST.
      • “ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
      • TEMPERATURE.
      • [p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
      • [p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
      • FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
      • THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
      • A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
      • [p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
      • OPEN THE GATES!
      • MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
      • VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
      • THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
      • THE SANDS OF TIME.
      • THE TRUTH AT LAST!
      • THINK OF IT!
      • THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
      • THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
      • WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
      • COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
      • RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
      • A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
      • WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
      • [p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
      • [p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
      • INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
      • ALMOST.
    • IT HAS BEEN DONE.
      • “ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
      • TEMPERATURE.
      • [p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
      • [p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
      • FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
      • THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
      • A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
      • [p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
      • OPEN THE GATES!
      • MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
      • VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
      • THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
      • THE SANDS OF TIME.
      • THE TRUTH AT LAST!
      • THINK OF IT!
      • THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
      • THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
      • WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
      • COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
      • RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
      • A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
      • WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
      • [p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
      • [p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
      • INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
      • ALMOST.
    • “ON SUCH A NIGHT …” [From the Bethany, Mo., Clipper.]
    • TEMPERATURE.
    • [p 118]LET US PERISH, RATHER, BY DEGREES.
    • [p 119]HYMN OF HATE. (Reprinted at request of Mr. Hoover.)
    • FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
    • THE SECOND POST. [An order for a picture.]
    • A FIG FOR CEREMONY! [From the East Peoria Post.]
    • [p 123]THE SECOND POST. [Received by the Chief of Police of Wichita, Kas.]
    • OPEN THE GATES!
    • MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
    • VARIANT OF THE VALVE-HANDLE WHEEZE. (Received by a drug concern.)
    • THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
    • THE SANDS OF TIME.
    • THE TRUTH AT LAST!
    • THINK OF IT!
    • THE ENRAPTURED SOCIETY EDITOR. [From the Charlotte, Ky., Chronicle.]
    • THE MISCHIEVOUS MAKE-UP MAN. [From the Markesan, Wis., Herald.]
    • WHY THE MAKE-UP MAN LEFT TOWN. [From the Grinnell Review.]
    • COOL, INDEED! [From the Tuttle, N. D., Star.]
    • RHYMED DEVOTION. [Robert Louis Stevenson to his wife.]
    • A NEW FIRM IN FISH. [From the Kearney Neb., Democrat.]
    • WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE WANTS? [Received by Farm Mechanics.]
    • [p 137]POEMS OF SENTIMENT AND REFLECTION. Sioux Falls [From the Sioux Falls Press.]
    • [p 138]“USELESS VERBIAGE.” [From an abstract of title.]
    • INGENIOUS CALIFORNIA PARADOX. [From the Oakland Post.]
    • ALMOST.
    • [p 139]The Witch’s Holiday.
      • A TALE FOR CHILDREN ONLY.
        • I.
        • II.
        • III.
        • IV.
        • V.
        • VI.
      • I.
      • II.
      • III.
      • IV.
      • V.
      • VI.
    • A TALE FOR CHILDREN ONLY.
      • I.
      • II.
      • III.
      • IV.
      • V.
      • VI.
    • I.
    • II.
    • III.
    • IV.
    • V.
    • VI.
    • [p 153]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • “THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
        • IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
        • QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
        • GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
        • VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
        • THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
        • THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
        • [p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
        • [p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
        • HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
        • HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
        • UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
        • A GOOD MOTTO.
        • WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
        • MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
        • BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
        • MUSIC HINT.
        • [p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
        • SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
        • OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
        • IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
        • [p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
        • THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
        • “WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
      • IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
      • QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
      • GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
      • VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
      • THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
      • THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
      • [p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
      • [p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
      • HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
      • HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
      • UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
      • A GOOD MOTTO.
      • WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
      • MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
      • BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
      • MUSIC HINT.
      • [p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
      • SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
      • OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
      • IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
      • [p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
      • THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
      • “WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
    • “THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
      • IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
      • QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
      • GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
      • VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
      • THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
      • THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
      • [p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
      • [p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
      • HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
      • HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
      • UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
      • A GOOD MOTTO.
      • WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
      • MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
      • BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
      • MUSIC HINT.
      • [p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
      • SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
      • OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
      • IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
      • [p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
      • THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
      • “WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
    • IF YOU MUST KISS, KISS THE DOCTOR. [From “How to Avoid Influenza.”]
    • QUICK, WATSON, THE PLUMBER! [From the Cedar Rapids Gazette.]
    • GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY CLIMATE, AND FORGIVE US OUR DROPS IN TEMPERATURE! [From the Pasadena Star-News.]
    • VARIANT OF A MORE OR LESS WELL KNOWN STORY. [From the Exeter, Neb., News.]
    • THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
    • THE VILLAGE OMAR LOSES HIS OUTFIT. [From the Fort Dodge Messenger.]
    • [p 160]“TWEET! TWEET!” GOES THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. [From the Sterling Gazette.]
    • [p 161]A SPLENDID RECOVERY. [Waukesha, Wis., item.]
    • HOW FAST THE LEAVES ARE FALLING! [From the Waterloo Courier.]
    • HOW SOON IT GETS DARK THESE DAYS! [From the Pillager, Minn., Herald.]
    • UPON JULIA’S ARCTICS.
    • A GOOD MOTTO.
    • WHY THE MAKE-UP FLED. [From the Dodge Center Record.]
    • MUSIC HATH CHAHMS.
    • BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
    • MUSIC HINT.
    • [p 168]THE HUNTING OF THE PACIFIST SNARK. (With Mr. Ford as the Bellman.)
    • SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
    • OUR BOYS. [From the Sheridan, Wyo., Enterprise.]
    • IN A DEPARTMENT STORE.
    • [p 174]THE SOIL OF KANSAS. [From the Kansas Farmer.]
    • THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
    • “WHAT THE LA HELLE!” [From the Kankakee Republican.]
    • [p 177]The London Busman Story.
      • I.—As George Meredith might have related it.
      • II.—As Henry James might have written it.
      • III.—As finally elucidated by Arnold Bennett.
    • I.—As George Meredith might have related it.
    • II.—As Henry James might have written it.
    • III.—As finally elucidated by Arnold Bennett.
    • [p 183]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • APRILLY.
        • [p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
        • BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
        • A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
        • FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
        • CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
        • SMACK! SMACK!
        • MARCH.
        • LITERATURE.
        • SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
        • THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
        • LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
        • [p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
        • A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
        • SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
        • “THAT’S GOOD.”
        • WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
        • [p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
        • BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
        • HAPPY THOUGHT.
      • [p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
      • BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
      • A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
      • FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
      • CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
      • SMACK! SMACK!
      • MARCH.
      • LITERATURE.
      • SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
      • THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
      • LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
      • [p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
      • A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
      • SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
      • “THAT’S GOOD.”
      • WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
      • [p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
      • BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
      • HAPPY THOUGHT.
    • APRILLY.
      • [p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
      • BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
      • A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
      • FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
      • CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
      • SMACK! SMACK!
      • MARCH.
      • LITERATURE.
      • SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
      • THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
      • LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
      • [p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
      • A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
      • SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
      • “THAT’S GOOD.”
      • WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
      • [p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
      • BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
      • HAPPY THOUGHT.
    • [p 184]“SPRING HAS COME …”
    • BYRON WROTE MOST OF THIS. [From the Monticello Times.]
    • A CANNERY DANCE. [From the Iowa City Press.]
    • FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
    • CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
    • SMACK! SMACK!
    • MARCH.
    • LITERATURE.
    • SONG. [In the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
    • THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
    • LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
    • [p 195]SING A SONG OF SPRINGTIME.
    • A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
    • SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
    • “THAT’S GOOD.”
    • WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
    • [p 199]“NATION-WIDE.”
    • BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
    • HAPPY THOUGHT.
    • [p 207]The Magic Kit.
      • A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC ELDERS.
        • I.
        • [p 209]II.
        • III.
        • IV.
      • I.
      • [p 209]II.
      • III.
      • IV.
    • A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC ELDERS.
      • I.
      • [p 209]II.
      • III.
      • IV.
    • I.
    • [p 209]II.
    • III.
    • IV.
    • [p 215]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • TO B. L. T. (Quintus Horatius Flaccus loquitur.)
        • BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
        • [p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
        • MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
        • LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
        • LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
        • YEO-HEAVE-HO!
        • [p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
        • LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
        • FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
        • THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
        • WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
        • THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
        • [p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
        • INDIFFERENCE.
      • BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
      • [p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
      • MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
      • LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
      • LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
      • YEO-HEAVE-HO!
      • [p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
      • LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
      • FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
      • THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
      • WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
      • THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
      • [p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
      • INDIFFERENCE.
    • TO B. L. T. (Quintus Horatius Flaccus loquitur.)
      • BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
      • [p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
      • MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
      • LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
      • LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
      • YEO-HEAVE-HO!
      • [p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
      • LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
      • FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
      • THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
      • WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
      • THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
      • [p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
      • INDIFFERENCE.
    • BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
    • [p 217]“THAT STRAIN AGAIN—IT HAD A DYING SNORT.”
    • MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
    • LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
    • LOST AND FOUND. [Song in the manner of Laura Blackburn.]
    • YEO-HEAVE-HO!
    • [p 229]JUST A REHEARSAL. [From the Elgin News.]
    • LAME IN BOTH REGISTERS? [From the Decatur Review.]
    • FLORAL POME. (Sign on Ashland Ave.: “Vlk the Florist.”)
    • THE SECOND POST. [Example of pep and tact.]
    • WHY THE DOG LEFT TOWN. [From the Newton, Ia., News, Dec. 2.]
    • THE PASSIONATE PURE FOOD EXPERT TO HIS LOVE.
    • [p 236]OH, DON’T YOU REMEMBER SWEET MARY, BEN BOLT?
    • INDIFFERENCE.
    • [p 237]Mr. Dubbe’s Program Study Class.
      • (ACCOMPANYING THE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERTS.) Reported by Miss Poeta Pants.
        • I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
        • II.
        • III.
        • IV.
        • V.
        • VI.
      • I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
      • II.
      • III.
      • IV.
      • V.
      • VI.
    • (ACCOMPANYING THE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA CONCERTS.) Reported by Miss Poeta Pants.
      • I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
      • II.
      • III.
      • IV.
      • V.
      • VI.
    • I.—THE NEAPOLITAN SIXTH.
    • II.
    • III.
    • IV.
    • V.
    • VI.
    • [p 251]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • THE PASSING OF SUMMER.
        • WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
        • IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
        • POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
        • A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
        • OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
        • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
        • DENTAL FLOSS.
        • JUST ABOUT.
        • [p 259]JAW JINGLES.
        • “NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
        • [p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
        • COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
        • [p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
        • AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
        • THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
        • THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
        • A BALANCED TUITION.
        • OPINION CONCURRED IN.
        • TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
        • THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
        • [p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
        • WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
        • COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
        • AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
        • [p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
        • THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
        • [p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
        • IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
      • WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
      • IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
      • POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
      • A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
      • OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
      • DENTAL FLOSS.
      • JUST ABOUT.
      • [p 259]JAW JINGLES.
      • “NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
      • [p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
      • COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
      • [p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
      • AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
      • THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
      • THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
      • A BALANCED TUITION.
      • OPINION CONCURRED IN.
      • TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
      • THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
      • [p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
      • WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
      • COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
      • AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
      • [p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
      • THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
      • [p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
      • IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
    • THE PASSING OF SUMMER.
      • WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
      • IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
      • POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
      • A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
      • OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
      • DENTAL FLOSS.
      • JUST ABOUT.
      • [p 259]JAW JINGLES.
      • “NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
      • [p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
      • COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
      • [p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
      • AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
      • THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
      • THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
      • A BALANCED TUITION.
      • OPINION CONCURRED IN.
      • TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
      • THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
      • [p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
      • WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
      • COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
      • AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
      • [p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
      • THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
      • [p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
      • IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
    • WHYNOTT? [From the Boston Globe.]
    • IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
    • POETRY. (Lord Dunsany.)
    • A CHANGE FROM LATIN ROOTS. [From the Reedsburg, Wis., Free Press.]
    • OUR FAVORITE AUTUMN POEM. (By a New Jersey poetess.)
    • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a wholesale grocery house, from an Italian customer.]
    • DENTAL FLOSS.
    • JUST ABOUT.
    • [p 259]JAW JINGLES.
    • “NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
    • [p 260]NO. 68, COUNTING FROM LEFT TO RIGHT. [From the Goshen, Ind., Democrat.]
    • COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
    • [p 261]FAREWELL! (By Poeta.)
    • AN UNCOMMONLY HAPPY THOUGHT. (A. J. Balfour, Letter to Mary Gladstone, 1891.)
    • THE SECOND POST. [The editor of the Winneconne, Wis., Local to his flock.]
    • THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
    • A BALANCED TUITION.
    • OPINION CONCURRED IN.
    • TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
    • THIS REFERS, OF COURSE, TO FRANCE. [From Faguet’s “Cult of Incompetence.”]
    • [p 267]AN IOWA ROMANCE. [From the Clinton Herald.]
    • WE SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. [From the Idaho Falls Register.]
    • COME INTO THE GARDEN, MAUD. [From the Tavares, Fla., Herald.]
    • AND HOW CALM THE OCEAN IS! [Correspondence from Florida.]
    • [p 269]POEMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. Between the Barn and the Woodhouse.
    • THE PHILOSOPHY OF BALDNESS.
    • [p 271]A DEAD SHOT. [From the Mt. Carmel, Ill., Republican.]
    • IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
    • [p 273]Vacation Travels.
    • [p 283]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • COUNTRY LIFE IN AMERICA.
        • THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
        • CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
        • SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
        • THE COME-BACK.
        • THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
        • TRADE CLASSICS.
        • DENATURED LIMERICKS.
        • MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
        • THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
        • YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
        • ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
        • THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
        • HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
        • [p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
      • THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
      • CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
      • SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
      • THE COME-BACK.
      • THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
      • TRADE CLASSICS.
      • DENATURED LIMERICKS.
      • MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
      • THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
      • YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
      • ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
      • THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
      • HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
      • [p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
    • COUNTRY LIFE IN AMERICA.
      • THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
      • CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
      • SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
      • THE COME-BACK.
      • THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
      • TRADE CLASSICS.
      • DENATURED LIMERICKS.
      • MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
      • THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
      • YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
      • ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
      • THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
      • HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
      • [p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
    • THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
    • CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
    • SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
    • THE COME-BACK.
    • THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
    • TRADE CLASSICS.
    • DENATURED LIMERICKS.
    • MY LOVE, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE SO MANY KINDS OF MAIDS? [From the Derbyshire Advertiser.]
    • THE SECOND POST. [Result of a collection letter that drew a sum on account.]
    • YES, SOMETIMES WE THROW THE WHOLE MAIL AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT. [From the Madison State Journal.]
    • ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
    • THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
    • HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
    • [p 303]TRADE ADIEUS.
    • [p 305]Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.
      • BEING A FEW HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED PAGES FROM HIS JOURNAL.
        • I.
        • II.
      • I.
      • II.
    • BEING A FEW HITHERTO UNPUBLISHED PAGES FROM HIS JOURNAL.
      • I.
      • II.
    • I.
    • II.
    • [p 309]A LINE-O’-TYPE OR TWO
      • THE BROODING DOVE.
        • A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
        • SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
        • YES, YES.
        • YE STUFF.
        • [p 313]DATED.
        • YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
        • THE TREE TOADS.
        • [p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
        • LIMERIK.
        • THE CHIGGER.
        • A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
        • ACT II., SCENE II.
        • [p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
        • VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
        • CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
        • [p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
        • MORNING IN IOWA.
        • AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
        • YOURS, ETC.
        • [p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
        • [p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
        • BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
        • ACADEMY NOTES.
        • WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
        • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
        • [p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
        • CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
        • ANNOUNCEMENT!
      • A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
      • SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
      • YES, YES.
      • YE STUFF.
      • [p 313]DATED.
      • YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
      • THE TREE TOADS.
      • [p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
      • LIMERIK.
      • THE CHIGGER.
      • A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
      • ACT II., SCENE II.
      • [p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
      • VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
      • CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
      • [p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
      • MORNING IN IOWA.
      • AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
      • YOURS, ETC.
      • [p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
      • [p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
      • BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
      • ACADEMY NOTES.
      • WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
      • [p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
      • CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
      • ANNOUNCEMENT!
      • Transcriber’s Note
    • THE BROODING DOVE.
      • A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
      • SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
      • YES, YES.
      • YE STUFF.
      • [p 313]DATED.
      • YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
      • THE TREE TOADS.
      • [p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
      • LIMERIK.
      • THE CHIGGER.
      • A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
      • ACT II., SCENE II.
      • [p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
      • VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
      • CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
      • [p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
      • MORNING IN IOWA.
      • AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
      • YOURS, ETC.
      • [p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
      • [p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
      • BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
      • ACADEMY NOTES.
      • WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
      • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
      • [p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
      • CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
      • ANNOUNCEMENT!
    • A STERN PEDAGOGUE. [From the Antelope, Montana, local.]
    • SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
    • YES, YES.
    • YE STUFF.
    • [p 313]DATED.
    • YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
    • THE TREE TOADS.
    • [p 315]THE RIDER AND THE ADDER.
    • LIMERIK.
    • THE CHIGGER.
    • A VERSATILE CHAP. [From the Turton, S. D., Trumpet.]
    • ACT II., SCENE II.
    • [p 321]THE JANITOR ENTERTAINS. [Iowa City Item.]
    • VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
    • CRUELLE ET INSOLITE. [Transfer slip, Peninsular Railway Co.]
    • [p 322]HIGH, LOW, JACK, AND THE GAME.
    • MORNING IN IOWA.
    • AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
    • YOURS, ETC.
    • [p 325]HE OUGHT TO BE DEPORTED.
    • [p 326]NOTES OF THE ACADEMY OF IMMORTALS.
    • BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
    • ACADEMY NOTES.
    • WE DON’T LIKE TO THINK OF IT! [From the Cambridge Review.]
    • THE SECOND POST. [Received by a mail order house.]
    • [p 329]THE SECOND POST. [Received by a Birmingham concern.]
    • CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
    • ANNOUNCEMENT!
    • Transcriber’s Note
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